WELLthy ways to reconnect with your spouse takes us to the opening scene in an idyllic island where a brand new husband and wife are happily celebrating their honeymoon. They have made it through the wedding and the long flight and now enjoying time together.

That image fades away and we now enter in the next scene where a now pregnant wife and her dotting husband are both snuggling on the couch watching some TV. They both doze off to wake up to the wife when the wife’s water breaks. The next chain of events determines how parenting will affect the transition from spouses to now parents.

WELLthy ways to reconnect with your spouse is a reminder not to let those chain of events be the beginning of a child-centered adventure they may now face if they let it be. Some of us are guilty with life, work, household chores, children’s activities turning into one adventure that works for the children but not for the adults.

It’s no mystery that “staying I do” takes a lot of work. We can visualize it intellectually but the particular work requires us to be very intentional and creative. Hubby has always been the one encouraging date nights but I was not quite ready, especially when they were younger. Hubby was very patient with the whole shift in our new normal and we decided to be creative in ways that helped us reconnect.

WELLthy ways to reconnect with your spouse in that season for us were ways we could reconnect without disrupting our family structure. We enjoyed taking walks after dinner or go for a car ride together when one of our mothers was visiting. We would watch a movie home to fit our crazy schedule at the time.

When the girls got older, we were blessed with amazing sitters who we can trust to engage our girls while we were out. We enjoyed going to the YMCA together and work out. We went to dinner and a movie. We catch up on our favorite shows with popcorn in hands and sometimes happily doze off in each other’s arms. Last weekend we had the pleasure to join other married couples from our church for a hike and it felt wonderful to reconnect with other couples and enjoy time without interruption.

WELLthy ways to reconnect with your spouse is all about being creative in ways that work for you and your family. The main thing is to prevent parenting to drown your marriage. Hubby sometimes works from home and after I drop off the girls, we go for a morning date and it sets the whole day.

WELLthy ways to reconnect with your spouse consists of each other taking turns to have some quality alone time at least once a week leaving our girls in the other’s care. I love to go for a pedi, a bookstore, window-shopping or simply retreat to our bedroom with a good book; Hubby enjoys getting reacquainted with his guitar, go for a run or taking care of household maintenance without interruption.

WELLthy ways to reconnect with your spouse sometimes involves reviving a hobby you both like. Hubby and I love running so saturday mornings are our family time to go running together on a trail, the track or on the boardwalk at the beach. We cherish those moments together because it takes us back to when we did not have any children yet and that is a winning formula.

Another way to revive something we used to do before children is to surprise each other with love notes just because and it helps set the tone for great intimacy. Whatever you do, it doesn’t have to be expensive, time-consuming, or done while the kids are away. The only thing necessary is a little creativity and a willingness to make each other smile.

I am thankful to be part of a church community that values marriage and invests accordingly. Thanks to the Marriage Ministry at our church, we have made dating our priority and it has also helped to be with other couples who are not afraid to be real and vulnerable. We have learned so much from other couples about staying connected.

Getting yourselves into the mindset that you’re more than a mom and a dad isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it because you’re doing these things with each other in mind. In this regard, the spark you’re looking for is really just around the corner. The kids will grow older and less demanding, and you and your spouse will stop hustling and settle together into a routine that still requires you to always work in creating WELLthy ways to reconnect with your spouse.

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